Guys, it’s summer. No, I don’t mean “summer beach party” summer.
I mean… It’s hotter than a goats ass in a pepper patch, dog days of summer…summer time.
We’ve hit that beautiful time of year where your makeup melts off of your face on the walk from your front door to the car. The second you get in the car, you feel like you’ve stepped into the 3rd layer of hell. You immediately forget about turning into one of those ugly blob fish because grabbing your steering wheel is the equivalence of shaking hands with a volcano.
Now, I’m not calling myself a heat expert, but as a Florida Native, I’ve lived in the hell pit known as Florida long enough to have learned a few things about heat. So I wanted to share a few things about summer (here in Florida, especially) for those people who have not had the amazing pleasure to have felt this glorious weather.
Summer Time Tips
- Deodorant is a requirement. Matter of fact… go ahead and throw on a second layer of that bad boy, and while you’re at it, throw a stick in your bag too. Reapplication is the name of the game. The people around you will thank you.
- Drink more water. Only rookies get dehydrated. Seriously, it sounds crazy, but bring a bottle of water with you… EVERYWHERE! It’s amazing how dehydrated you get in humid weather.
- Grab yourself a nice set of gloves or a steering wheel rag. Remember the volcano steering wheel above? Unless you’re trying to remove those fingerprints for…um… reasons… you may want to throw something like a towel over the volcano wheel or on your hands because your steering wheel will feel like it’s on fire. Or, if you’re special like me, just hop in the car and sit in the driveway for about 10 minutes with the vents turned to the steering wheel letting the A/C blow on it full blast to cool it down just enough to be able to touch it.
- Speaking of hot, you know those amazing leather seats that you just had to have for your car, well I hope they look good with a beach towel on them because your thighs are going to melt to them without it.
- Put on some sunblock, yes even if you’re just going to be in your car or walking into a store. I learned the hard way, yes even as a Floridian, that sunblock is important even in a car. I may or may not have walked around with a sunburn in the shape of a Mitsubishi steering wheel for two weeks. So unless you want to walk around looking like Two-Face from Batman…Throw on a quick layer before you head out or have on some makeup with a bit of SPF to help protect your skin.
- Don’t be afraid to walk around looking like you’ve just dropped out of Victorian Era London.Umbrellas were not just meant for rain. Umbrellas can be a great way to break the sun and heat while you’re out and about.
- Portable fans are a girls real best friend. For around $15 to $20, you too can be the proud owner of a fan that you can hang around your neck or strap onto a stroller.
- Fun fat- Florida is one of the few states that allows you to break a window of a vehicle, without consequence, if there is an animal or vulnerable person, in a non running vehicle to help save them. So if you’re walking by a car in a parking lot and happen to see a child, dog, cat, bird… whatever, in a non-running vehicle and the owner of the vehicle is not around, don’t be afraid to go all Brittney Spears circa 2007 on the window. You can read more about that law here.
Now let’s talk about some important things.
Heat exhaustion and Heat stroke are real.
They don’t discriminate against age, race, or sexual orientation. So be prepared and know the symptoms to keep yourself safe.
Symptoms to look out for:
- Dark urine
- You start sweating more than a sinner in church
- You pass out harder than a groomsmen who’s locked his knees in a wedding
- Muscle or abdominal cramps
- You’re more confused than that cat with a flower on it’s head
- nausea , vomiting, diarrhea… and no that’s not a pepto commercial…
If you notice any of those symptoms get yourself into a cool environment, an air conditioned building is the best option and rest for a bit. Make sure to drink plenty of fluids, toss in a bottle of gatorade or pedialyte to help rebuild electrolytes as well. You can also implement cooling measures such as loosen clothing, placing a cool rag on the back of the neck or under the armpits and behind the knees, take a cool shower or bath. If you’re outdoors and not able to get inside, you can also try soaking in a cool pond or other body of water.
Okay time to get serious here for a second. Heat stroke is extremely serious and requires immediate medical attention. If you notice any of these symptoms in yourself or in someone you’re with, seek immediate help from an ER or call 911.
- Throbbing headache.
- Dizziness and light-headedness.
- Lack of sweating despite the heat.
- Red, hot, and dry skin.
- Muscle weakness or cramps.
- Nausea and vomiting.
- Rapid heartbeat, which may be either strong or weak.
- Rapid, shallow breathing.
So to all of my internet friends out there, may your summers be fun and your A/C be plentiful.