Motherhood is one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done in my life. It’s given me a sense of purpose and meaning outside of just me. That being said, I’ve found that motherhood can also be overwhelming and honestly a bit distracting from other passions you may have once had in your life. For many women, Like myself, who have taken that incredibly scary leap into being a stay at home mom and especially a homeschooling stay at home mom, you can have a tendency to kind of lose your sense of “self”. Everything suddenly is about the kids and your family and your house instead of spread sheets, reports, or whatever it is you were doing. No longer are you Mrs. so-and-so project manager for company X, nope now you’re mom taking the fifth order for a meal no one is going to eat.
Now before I go any further into this, I am by no means complaining about being able to be a stay at home mom. I love the fact that I have this opportunity to be home with my children and to educate them. And I’m in no way devaluing the role of a mother in today’s society. Trust me, there is enough of that mess to go around that I’ll have to tackle that entire subject in another post. No, what I want to bring up here is the question that many women have and that’s…
How can we have a sense of purpose or fulfill our passions outside of motherhood? How does that balance out without neglecting something?
This can be kind of a touchy subject I think. For many women, motherhood is their ultimate purpose in life. They’ve dreamed about it since they were children and that is absolutely awesome. These women rock their mom title like no body’s business and that’s great. For many other women, they find that they have a calling outside of motherhood, though, and finding a way to actually fulfill this calling can be a bit challenging and honestly… I don’t think there is any right or wrong way of doing it. Everyone is going to have a little different experience based off of what exactly they are wanting to do.
Let’s face it, being a woman is complicated. Being a mom is even more complicated. We are professionals with well established careers. We are entrepreneurs with a desire to go out and create something new and watch it turn into something big. We are artist with a passion to design and create. We are lovers, and wives, and single free spirited individuals. We are moms, and sisters, and daughters, and aunts. We have many different hats to wear and sometimes wearing them all seems an impossible task. So how do we do it all?
I’ve always had a desire to help people. Growing up I always wanted to be either a physician or nurse practitioner. I loved medicine and to me that was the ultimate way to help people. I went to high school and actually managed to graduate with my Certified Nursing Assistance license and became a Patient Care Technician shortly after my first child was born. Sadly things were derailed a bit for me after a car accident and lifting heavy patients was just no longer an option. Add in the lack of time I had from working to attend college and I sadly abandoned my goals for a desk job, still within medicine but working on the back end helping with insurance, billing, and EDI. It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to be doing but I was still helping people which I enjoyed.
When I became pregnant with baby number 3 is when I made the leap to being a stay at home mom, and shortly there after was when I noticed that my passion to help others was slowly dwindling and I became consumed by the day to day work of being a mom. It wasn’t until just recently that I realized how far on the back burner I had placed myself and my passions and realized I needed to make a change.
Everything I had once loved… music, reading, hanging out with friends had all been pushed aside and I had allowed myself to be overwhelmed by motherhood. So what do I do about this? How can I get back into all of those things that I once found brought me joy and purpose and incorporate them into motherhood?
For me, I felt like the answer was through creating this blog and my YouTube channel. I’m challenging myself on a daily basis to put my passion to help others into those channels in an effort to hopefully make,even just one single persons day a little better or run a little easier. Even if I’m just providing a simple recipe, I feel like I’m hopefully helping someones day run that much smoother. So I’m working on fulfilling my passion for helping other through blog posts and videos.
For someone else, the answer may be to take 1… just 1 college course per semester until they walk away with a degree. Or setting aside time for themselves to go to a library and read as many books on physics as they can to self educate in a subject or to further their education. For others it may be, finally making themselves take culinary classes or just practice a specific culinary style until they’ve perfected it because they have a passion for cooking or baking. Or traveling around the world seeing as much of the world as you can, children in toe.
The important thing though, is to understand that it is perfectly okay to have a passion that lies outside of motherhood. To have and to fulfill a purpose other than just raising children. This is going to look different for everyone. The road may be difficult and at times feel overwhelming, but for you to be the best mother that you can be for your children. For you to be able to set the best example for your children as possible…you need to be able to live your life with a since of purpose and satisfaction that one can only get by fulfilling their own passions.
I’d love to turn this into a conversation so please feel free to head over to the Goldfish and Gin community page on facebook or leave me a message in the comments below. Let’s talk about our passions and how to fulfill them!
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