I’ve got a secret to tell you… I fucking suck as a tooth fairy. Yup, I’m the worst tooth fairy ever in the history of tooth fairies and have fired myself many times because this tooth fairy just couldn’t get her shit together.
Now, the day my kids lose their teeth, I always have the best of intentions to get the tooth fairy money and have everything ready to do some cute little thing with it for them. But typically what happens is one of my kids looses a tooth at 8 o’clock at night, just before bedtime, we end up having ZERO cash on us, and someone has to take an emergency trip to the store to try and grab $5 to throw under their pillow that night. If we are lucky we reach the exchanging the tooth for cash bit but if we are not lucky, we end up forgetting the damn exchange because I or my husband fall asleep before the kids do and we wake up the next morning going “oh shit we forgot”.
If you’re anything like me, and I’m willing to bet there’s more than just a few other bad tooth fairies out there, I’ve got some things to help you out when your kid walks in your room in the morning complaining that the tooth fairy missed her… again.
Excuses for when the tooth fairy misses you
Do you need a quick excuse to help you cover up your lack of tooth fairying (that’s a word right? yeah.. it’s a word now) last night? I’ve got a few ideas to help you out.
- Kids were up too late- This is a great option if the kids happen to be night owls like mine. Let them know that the tooth fairy couldn’t visit them because they were up too late and she had to skip them to make her other appointments on time.
- Room is too messy- Now this is a perfect way to get out of dropping off that tooth fairy cash and get the kids room clean. Let them know that the tooth fairy was worried about hurting a wing in all of the mess and that they need to clean up for her to visit.
- Tooth fairy was crazy busy- We all know these fairies have a lot of houses to visit in a single night, so sometimes things happen (refer back to excuse 1) and she got behind on her schedule or she was just too busy because so many kids lost teeth that night and needed to move some of her kids to the next night.
- Didn’t receive the message about the tooth in time- This is a personal favorite in my house. I started telling the kids a while back that when they lose a tooth that I have to text or email the tooth fairy in order for her to know that she needs to visit the house. If she receives the message too late, then she will have to visit the next night. The kids never argue with this and it saves us when a kid is pulling their tooth out at 7 or 8 at night.
- She’s in a different country- Tooth fairies are international workers. So sometimes, you may be the only kid in your area and she’s stuck in a completely different country. Again, she’ll have to get to you when she’s back in your area. ( this is a great way to get yourself a couple of days if needed)
- The pets scared her away- Do you have a dog or a cat or bird? Blame it on them. Dang it… the dog tried to eat her again or the cat was chasing her too much. Make sure we put them up tonight so she can try again.
- Broken wing- Do you need an excuse to get you to the next pay check before you can pay out that tooth fairy cash? Say she broke a wing in some other kids messy room and is on bed rest until it heals.
- Sick- Another great way to buy yourself a few days (if needed) is to say she is sick. Every kid understands a sick day or two and typically they will wish her well and move on, leaving you time to get the money without rushing.
- She went on vacation- Tooth fairies need a break too right? She’s in Hawaii for a week and will bring you the dollar when she’s back.
- Weather delay- Snow storms, hurricanes, thunder storms… use these to your advantage and let the kids know that she just couldn’t fly in those conditions. She’ll be here as soon as the weather clears.
Ideas to help you remember
There are several things that you can do to help you remember to switch that tooth for the money.
- Set an alarm
- Tape the tooth to the kids door so you don’t forget
- Place the tooth in a bag on the counter- this is now what we do with all teeth. We said it was an order from the tooth fairy so she wouldn’t get squished.
Options 2 and 3 may prohibit you from using the old “dirty room” excuse but at least you’ll be able to have a visual reminder of the damn thing.
What can you do when it happens too often
if you find yourself forgetting the tooth too often and your kids are getting upset, don’t fear… there are things that you can do to make it better.
- Fire the tooth fairy for a new one- I hate to admit it but I’ve fired myself a few times. I’ve gone days forgetting the tooth fairy needed to come and so I blame it on her just being a horrible tooth fairy and tell the kids that we need to fire her. We will actually write a note and let her know that we want a new tooth fairy because she’s just terrible. This normally makes them giggle and they forget about being upset. I get a couple of more days (because they’ve got find a replacement) and the kids don’t get upset when she doesn’t show up.
- Have her write a letter of apology- yup a good old letter of apology on forgetting your kid. Spray that mess with some glitter and put it with the money. Maybe add in a little candy or something for good measure.
- Have they not noticed but you did- If you’re in a situation where the kids haven’t noticed yet but you suddenly remember, try to do a quick switch without them noticing.
What excuses have you had to use before? Let me know in the comments below. And don’t forget to hit that subscribe button.