What Makes a Large Family

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One of the funny things I’ve come to learn over the last 5 years, since I had my fourth and then firth child, is that the size of my family varies considerably depending on the audience I am talking to. No, I’m not talking about the physical size. No matter who I talk to, I will forever have at least five children. What I’m talking about is the consideration of if I have a “large family” or if I have just a “normal” sized family.

It’s all about perspective

It all boils down to perspective.

What I’ve found is that, depending on the group I am talking to, I either am out of my mind for having so many kids and have the biggest family they have seen, or my family is just getting started and I need to work harder cause I’m seriously slacking.

According to most of my friends, family, and the strangers that gawk at us in the store… I have a pretty large family. Out of my friend group, I’ve got the most kids. At five kids, I’ve surpassed their average number of 4, throwing me into the crazy baby collector category. And when you think about it in terms of pure numbers, us parents are now completely outnumbered.

If my kids wanted to have an uprising and overthrow the powers that be (aka me and my husband) our chances aren’t looking good at survival. Our army is way smaller than theirs.

And strangers seem to be amazed when I’m out in public, making me feel like we are a traveling sideshow when we are at the store. We walk into the grocery store to a chorus of “are they all yours” and “wow you’ve really got your hands full” on a regular basis. That’s when I feel like I have a large family. When people are counting us and gawking and judging us… that’s when my family feels huge and imposing.

According to some though, my family isn’t even close to being a large family.

I’m a member of several large family groups and I swear it feels like a competition sometimes for who has pushed the most number of crotch goblins out of their bodies or who has taken in the largest number of foster babies. It’s actually sort of sad sometimes. You talk to other large family moms that have ten to fifteen kids and they mock and laugh at us moms who have “JUST” five.

When I’m looking at these groups, no I don’t feel like I have a large family at all. Heck most of the time, when it’s just me and the kids living our daily lives, I don’t feel like I’m a large family mom. To me, five kids just feels normal.

The crazy threshold

There’s a weird thresh hold for moms on the crazy scale. Having three kids was hard. Having four kids was just insane. Having five kids tipped me over the crazy edge and things seemed to balance out. It’s like when you hit that fifth kid, things can’t get any crazier so you just sort of take comfort in your crazy level and move forward.

Now, I’m not going to lie… some days are overwhelming. When they are tired, cranky, or just no one wants to listen, the reality of having five kids kind of sets in. Those are the days where I feel like I’ve got a crazy number of children. Thankfully, those days don’t happen very often.

So like I said, family size is all about perspective. It all depends on who you are talking to and what you are talking about. Your family may feel huge with four kids or you may feel like your family isn’t complete and still just average sized with 10 kids.

What do you consider a large family to be? Let me know in the comment section below.

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Goldfish and Gin

I'm a perfectly imperfect large family mom with a love for family, fashion, beauty and supporter of breastfeeding and body positivity.

25 thoughts on “What Makes a Large Family

  1. You are so right when you say it’s all about perspective. I have three (two are step kids) and sometimes it feels like a big family, especially when your car doesn’t seat them all comfortably. Other times, it feels like it’s just normal because it’s what I am use to and expect. Your family is beautiful by the way!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been there with the cars. I had a little two door cobalt when I had my third… it was TERRIBLE! hahaha I’ve since upgraded to a 12 passenger transit van. We are much more comfortable now.

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  2. I think it’s really what you can comfortably handle. I have 2 kids and a step daughter. That’s plenty for me! Just between how expensive kids are, taking them places, them getting each other sick, getting to all their games, and not having any family around to help, that’s what I took into consideration when having kids. If you can do it all with 5 kids, you’re amazing!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree I think it depends on the area, and the person you are speaking with. A lot of people in china/japan would consider it a very large family as many areas there still limit families to two children. Generally I consider anything over three kids a big family.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You don’t see a lot of families your size nowadays, that’s for sure, anyway. But all that really matters is if you think it’s normal. If you’re cool with it, then you’re cool with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey Magen! I can’t speak from my own experience, but I do think kids are our blessings. Having a lot of kids is all about responsibility and coping with it might not be for everyone. However, you’re lucky to be a mother of 5!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. When I think of the size of a family I don’t take in consideration strictly the parents and the children. What I consider to be a large family is many cousins, grandparents, aunts and uncles. Because that’s a family, that just the parents and children. You can have 5 children but no other relatives, and that is a small family in my opinion.

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  7. Ugh, this is so true. We have four kids and I receive at least one snarky comment or look every time we go grocery shopping. It’s frustrating. Everybody has the “perfect family of 2 adults 2 kids” idea stuck in their heads. Embrace your babies! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I always wanted a large family because of the Brady Bunch actually. I know people are so judgmental but it’s not like you’re the Duggar’s! As long as your house is filled with love.

    Liked by 1 person

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