7 Misconceptions about Large Families

Story time! I woke up this morning and decided to take the kids to the store for some quick, last minute shopping. I pull into my parking space at Walmart and start to unload the kids. As I’m counting out the 5 kids and loading 3 into a cart, an elderly woman walks by and, chuckling to herself, says ” Wow, you’ve got you’re hands full”.  I laugh and say “Yup” then go about my business. I make it into Walmart and as I round the corner on to the bread aisle an older man sees me and it happens… I get the stare! If you’ve got more than 3 kids, you know the stare I’m talking about. That stare where they don’t even try to hide what they are doing. It starts out a little confused. They look like they’ve just been slapped by a cod fish. Then, you see the calculating. Slowly their mouth starts to move ( and sometimes their hands) as they try to count out the number of kids I have with me. Then finally the look turns to pure astonishment. Their amazement of 5 kids and one adult written across their face. Then I get the comment… “Are they all yours? WOW! You must have the patience of a saint!”

Having a large family and being out in public is… interesting to say the least. You feel sort of like an exhibit at the zoo with prying eyes glancing at you at all times. People are curious about the family dynamic when they see anything over the three child family. And even though it’s only been about 2-3 generations since large families were the norm, it would seem that there are a lot of misconceptions floating around out there about large families. So let’s set the record straight!

You must have the patience of a saint and other misconceptions about large families

  1. You must have the patience of a saint!

Yeah, I hear this one a lot from pretty much everyone I meet. They look at me, silently count the number of kids, then look at me again with big eyes and say “wow! five kids! you must have the patience of a saint”. Hahaha yeah…not so much. In all honesty I’ve got zero patience and really have to work on myself daily. Trust me when I tell you, nothing will challenge your patience like a head strong 5 year old, teething infant, the angry threenager, and your moody tween daughter who knows everything. Patience may be a virtue but it’s not something I always possess.

  2. You’re in one of those weird religious cults aren’t you

Contrary to popular belief, not everyone that has a large family is in some weird cult or is crazy religious. I know… shocker right? In fact I’m not religious at all and neither is my husband. Actually the majority of people I know that have 4 or more children either do not practice any form of religion or are just religious without being a hardcore bible thumper.

3. You’re uneducated

 This one always gets me. Recently French President Emmanuel Macron exclaimed, “I always say: ‘Present me the woman who decided, being perfectly educated, to have seven, eight or nine children.’” As you can imagine, this statement ignited a firestorm on twitter and other social media platforms. I don’t understand why people seem to feel that it is a lack of education that makes people (primarily women if we are going off of the French Presidents point of view) want to choose to have large families. There are plenty of women and men with 4 plus children that have at least a B.S. and many walking around with doctorates degrees. Just because they love children and choose to have large families does not make them uneducated.

4. To completely contradict the above misconception… “You must be rich” or the “You must have a really good job”

Now, how on earth do you think someone with limited to no education is going to have this fantastic job with amazing pay? Yeah, there are a lot of jobs out there that pay good that don’t require higher education but let’s face it, if you’re looking to be a VP for a multi-million dollar company… you’re going to need the degree to match it. That being said, you really don’t have to be a millionaire or have some crazy paying job to be able to afford having a large family. Through budgeting and being resourceful you can have a normal paying job, live in a normal house, and raise a large family. You just have to be okay with not having everything brand new or being able to go to take lavish vacations on a regular basis. 

5. You must be a know it all since you have that many kids

Actually Karen,I don’t know anything and lose my shit on a daily basis…thank you very much!

In all honesty, I’ll be the first one to tell you that I don’t know what the hell I’m doing on any given day. Kids are amazingly challenging and will test what you think you may have known about everything.Then,if you happen to get a wild hair up your ass and think that you may know something,there’s always a kid standing around to correct you and remind you that YOU. ARE.WRONG! 

6. You don’t mind watching my kid for a second do you?

Yeah, I’ve had this happen one too many times. I’m at the park and another mom sees me coming. She’s counting my kids and you start to see the wheels turning in her head. She’s thinking “FREEDOM!!!” and after coming over and chatting with me for a minute she asks the question… “Hey, do you mind watching little Susan for me real fast while I run to the car?”

Ummm Janet…I don’t even know you! I’m not watching your kids for you. I don’t even like watching my own kids at the park. Why would you think I want to watch your kid?! 

7. and number 7… this one is my favorite one! “You know what causes that right? You should really think about birth control.”

Remember number 3, yeah this goes along with that one. For some reason, when people see that you have more than 2 or 3 kids, they automatically think that either you are doing nothing but having sex constantly or that you don’t know what birth control is. To set the record straight… Sex with a house constantly full of young children is not and easy task. Either it’s the fastest sex you’ll ever have or the most unromantic planned out sex ever! It’s not as simple as just deciding you want some and then jumping on your spouse. And as for the birth control… did you know that fails? It’s not 100%. Even surgical procedures fail sometimes. So don’t go putting all your eggs into the birth control basket, pun kind of intended there. Trust me… I found that out the hard way. Thanks YAZ!

So there you have it, 7 of the most common misconceptions about large families. It’s really funny how much misinformation is out there about large families. I’d love to hear some of your stories. Let me know in the comment section below what kind of crazy things you’ve heard about large families.And don’t forget to hit that subscribe button! 

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Goldfish and Gin

I'm a perfectly imperfect large family mom with a love for family, fashion, beauty and supporter of breastfeeding and body positivity.

17 thoughts on “7 Misconceptions about Large Families

  1. It’s amazing how people judge others for the strangest reasons. If I saw a large family around me, I would just think to myself “Wow, those parents have patience!” And that would be the only thing that would cross my mind. Great Post.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. These are not misconceptions… these are pure insults! The fact that people would say such negative things about having a big family disgusts me. To me, the bigger the family, the more love there is! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. People say these things to you? Oh goodness? The religious cult one is hilarious. I love that you are embracing your big family. Thank you for being so authentic and real about how you are just like a mom with less kids. I love big families! If my husband was on board, I would have more but he truly doesn’t have a patient of a saint. LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve always found it amazing how people seem to lose all traces of their mental filters when they see large families. The comments used to bother me but I figure… might as well embrace it and so now I just mess with people.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I would say that it is nobody’s business. It’s your life and you have your own choices and decisions to make. And as long as that doesn’t affect anyone else, why should others care how many children you have or judge you for it?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s crazy how so many people judge others before they know the story. I always tried to teach my kids to never assume because we never know what others have been through. Like walk a mile in my shoes. Thanks for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You have such a nice writing style, that makes me feel what you are writing out.
    It is easy to judge – harder to accept and understand. Hang on there – it looks like you are doing an amazing job with perfectly imperfect family 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I still commend you for the large family you have. I am glad you dispelled many of these myths and misconceptions for people being judgemental about larger families

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You kids look so happy. My mom has 5 siblings and i always loved when they meet support each others and it’s really nice to see big families

    Liked by 1 person

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